So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
