I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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