turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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