Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my shit smells like andre
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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