hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
God I need to hump something, right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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