Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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