in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
