I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
