Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
