kristin has been a bad kristin
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
