yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
