I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
