Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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