The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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