Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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