I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just threw up on my dentist
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
