he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
