Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
