Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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