u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
