Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
