I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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