Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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