Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
