I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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