Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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