i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize