Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
