after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
