Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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