If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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