And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
