Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
