where am i from again
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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