he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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