she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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