She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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