Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
