I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
