billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
