I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
