Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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