i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
