it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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