just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
