Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
