dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
