He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
