So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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