Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
