That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize